This is a post for all the men out there, as we have a responsibility to God, our wives and our children. So, whatever you marital status, this is for you. When I was young and single, I never really paid attention to verses about husbands because I figured that I would read those when I was a husband. This is not really a good idea, because it is often too late. If you can get yourself where God wants you, and start working towards being a good husband, then when you do become a husband you’ll be ready. Besides, the verses that show you how to be a husband are good for men, regardless of whether they are married or not.
Let’s start with some scripture, I won’t include the obvious ones about wives submitting to husbands and husband loving your wives, as I think we’ve all heard those at plenty of weddings! 1 Timothy 3:1-5 says, This is a trustworthy saying: “If someone aspires to be an elder, he desires an honourable position.” So an elder must be a man whose life is above reproach. He must be faithful to his wife.He must exercise self-control, live wisely, and have a good reputation. He must enjoy having guests in his home, and he must be able to teach. He must not be a heavy drinker or be violent. He must be gentle, not quarrelsome, and not love money. He must manage his own family well, having children who respect and obey him. For if a man cannot manage his own household, how can he take care of God’s church?
Now I know what you are thinking – yes, but that is about men who wish to be church elders. That may be so, but are they not good guidelines for us all? Should we not all be striving to be the best that we can? Then why lower your expectations just because you are not a church elder? I was chatting to some people yesterday and was saying that we are all responsible for our own spiritual walks, don’t rely on a pastor or church. Yes they are there to help, but relying on them 100% is not advisable – you need to take charge of your own life. We, as men, can get ourselves to the standard mentioned in this passage (and others) as that will make us good friends, husbands, Christians and church leaders.
Ephesians 5:21-33 explains how to be a good husband (and wife) and it shows the men as the head of the household. This is a contentious topic, as womens rights movements get upset, because they feel that everyone deserves ‘equal rights’. If they actually read the whole chapter and understood what it meant, they would realise that marriage is a relationship with spiritual hierarchy, not dominance. This is a huge responsibility for the men – it is no picnic, we are called to love our wives like Christ loves the church. He died for the church. No pressure. To illustrate this responsibility, I thought I’d share the following statistics from The Demographic Characteristics of National Minorities in Certain European States.
1. If both father and mother attend regularly, 33 percent of their children will end up as regular churchgoers, and 41 percent will end up attending irregularly. Only a quarter of their children will end up not practising at all.
2. If the father is irregular and mother regular, only 3 percent of the children will subsequently become regulars themselves, while a further 59 percent will become irregulars. Thirty-eight percent will be lost.
3. If the father is non-practising and mother regular, only 2 percent of children will become regular worshippers, and 37 percent will attend irregularly. Over 60 percent of their children will be lost completely to the church!
What happens if the father is regular but the mother irregular or non-practising? Amazingly, the percentage of children becoming regular goes up from 33 percent to 38 percent with the irregular mother and up to 44 percent with the non-practising. This suggests that loyalty to the father’s commitment grows in response to the mother’s laxity or indifference to religion.
Let’s make it clear: the devil is trying to destroy Christian marriages and families. Judging by the information above, if he can break the man he can take down the whole family. This just shows that there is huge responsibility on the men. So, in short, it is time to man up and take the challenge! I leave you with this link to a Casting Crowns song that should get you inspired!
Good day gentlemen,